this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
You don't make any sense
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