I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
