i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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