Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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