i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
