ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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