I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
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conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
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I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm really busy with my period
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