i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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