I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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