yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
