shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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