he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
So. Much. Porn.
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