I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
