someone owes me an orgasm
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
