I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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