dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
We need to get me chipped asap
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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