just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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