i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
