If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
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