I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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