I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize
