I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
