I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
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And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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