Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
