my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Please don't give away my fajitas
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
why is half of my head shaved?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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