This girl is more easily done than said...
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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