I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
