Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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