Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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