We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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