"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
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