i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
