yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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