escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Can't talk, ducks in the car
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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