so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
