I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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