Reggie can tackle my bush.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
