Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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