i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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