Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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