I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
