I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Ambien. No doubt about it.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
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If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
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I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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