and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
