At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
