in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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