i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
