Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
