He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
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