we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
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The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
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Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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