Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
