Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
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