Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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