need another drink. this is the easiest way
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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