I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You are a genius and a whore.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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