Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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