How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
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