we have pet lesbian snakes
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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