You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
