The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
