he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Drunk is a universal language darling
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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